Film: Fun Size

The cast/crew bit: directed by Josh Schwartz, written by Max Werner, starring Victoria Justice, Jane Levin & Thomas Mann

The ten-word synopsis: Babysitting sister loses her younger brother on Halloween. You guess.

I strolled in to see Fun Size on a Monday afternoon, and was greeted with an auditorium positively heaving with a grand total of one other person. So, the two of us sat down and looked on as the films’ certificate came up. It’s a 12A. I shall come to this later. Then two blokes, who both appeared to be quite comfortable going to the cinema on their own and therefor sat within a certain category in society, were subjected to the hoppy, middlingly-energetic music video from Call Me Maybe singer Carly Rae Jepsons’ new single. Personally, I’m an advocate of catchy pop nonsense, but as the other man, who was probably about 40, turned to look at me, hoping to catch a glance of bafflement that was almost equal to that of his own outward demeanour, I experienced the least awkward moment of the 90-odd minutes in which I was inside that screening. Continue reading


Film: Offender

The cast/crew bit: directed by Ron Scalpello, starring Joe Cole, English Frank & Kimberley Nixon

The ten-word synopsis: Bloke goes to jail to kill other blokes in jail.

I saw Offender in a near-empty cinema screening on a Monday afternoon. There were, perhaps, six of us there, excluding myself and a movie-going companion. All half dozen of them were in tracksuits, hoodies or the type of attire that would similarly get your brandished as a ‘Chav’. It was at this point that I, walking in late with my grey blazer jacket, realised that I may not be the target audience for this film. Continue reading